August 2011: Guest Blogger - Naomi Richards runs The kids Coach.
How To Avoid Your Child Worrying About Money Following Parental Split
When parents split up there can be lots of worries going on in a child's mind. There are the obvious ones of where are they going to live and when can they see mum/dad? A hidden worry that a child won't broach with their parents is money. Despite not talking about it, they are worried! How will mum and dad be able to support themselves when they are living apart - mum may not currently work so how will she pay for rent, food, school trips or why has dad got more money than mum and can't he just give her some more so she can find a nice place to live?
Not easy questions to answer but here's a few ideas of what you can:
Give them the reassurance that there is always enough money for the basics. There may not be surplus or luxuries but the most important thing is that you get to spend time with each other and that is invaluable and priceless.
Explain that when you lived together the money that was coming into the house was for the mortgage, bills, food and doing nice things for all of you. Now the money is split between mum and dad it means that one or both of you have to move to a smaller place to live. It is impossible with the same money to have two same properties.
Explain it is a new situation for both parents and that mum/dad will be looking for work to be able to pay for the necessities.
Tell them about the things that money has to go on so that they understand the reason why you aren’t doing something fabulous all the time. For example you may need to pay for work done on your car and that costs!
Let them do chores for other people like car washing or a paper round if they want to earn their own money for things they really want but know are luxuries.
If they want to help let them but whenever you can make sure they are out of earshot when you are discussing finances and do not let them see you are worried. They will pick up on your emotions.
What can you do to stop your child from worrying?
‘Coaching Children for Positive Change’